and this could be my next-most regular place i visit.
although its not that bad of a news but, its the back to square one that makes me.. upset or rather, dissapointed.
i felt empty the last 2 weeks, and i know the reasons.
my emotions was like hurricane, as i watch myself turn into an -insecure girl-, hey! when did i even had that in me?
i cried.
so so badly.
knowing the reasons behind it is, i'm not walking right, the way i should be.
i can't believe i was deeply wounded about things that i know, i should have faith on or rather, it couldn't be True the way i saw it but i couldn't deny the fact that i was upset, worried, insecure.. i felt like crap! and that stopped me for a moment.
its time to REFLECT.
something's not RIGHT now.
i shouldn't even care if it was another girl that got him interested. he's just another GUY, why would i be hoping he's different when i'm not hahaha! that's expectations. and i have to accept that expectations can be destructive at times, like this. anyway, if things are meant to stray, it will and thus time would tell.
i'm usually quite confident with him, but something struck me and there goes my mind wandering and god knows how long this stupid-ediotic feeling would linger.
i cried knowing this isn't me.
i thank god, i was at church, to let out my deepest feelings..
to know there's something else i could rely on, to hope and have faith on rather than anything else in the world. i just need to be consistent, i need to stand for what is right and be determine of what i WANT, in life.
i hope my next post can be a happier one, i wish my prayers are heard, and i hope i can stop picturing or thinking i'm going to be single soon.
hope the cloudy chapters end today.
p/s : its such a comfort knowing someone actually keep tracks of your life *not stalker type pls and whenever a sad POST goes up on FB, he/she appears on your mobile asking "why square not Round.." etc. tears just filled my eyes cause i know he/she cares.. this much.
Love,
3pees.
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